Diary of an RS : The long way home.

It has now been just over three weeks since I’ve been the proud owner of a 2016 BMW R1200RS.

What started as casual looking after test riding one became the real deal very quickly when I found a deal that I simply couldn’t pass up, the only caveat being that the bike was 2000+ km away in Limpopo.

Originally I planned to write a daily diary entry of sorts, on my week long trip back down to Cape Town to bring the bike home, but on the first night already it became apparent that wasn’t going to happen.

So I left it thinking that some time in the saddle through normal day to day operations would give a better overall impression before I started writing a story, but now I realise that story would be way too long so this will be split into two…this probably still too long road trip story and then more of a bike review living with it every day post later down the line.

Casually browsing Bikefind.co.za I tag a few RS’s and RnineT’s and add them into my Watchlist…you know for science when I spot this RS that seems to be a private sale. Fully loaded with Shift Assist, Navigation and Keyless Ride, but it’s the wrong colour as I’m in love with the Lupine Blue and I’m not a big fan of matt finishes as found on the Granite Grey. All day long this bike keeps bothering me and I keep going back and wondering why the price is so low, especially since it has 600km on the clock only. Now I’m also debating with myself as I really wanted a new bike, but you know they are never really new as some other pillock always rides it first as part of the PDI, so what’s the difference between 20km and 600km really?

Eventually I crack and submit a request for more information. Not even twenty minutes later I get a call from the owner who is a very nice retired gentleman with a collection of bikes and obviously no money problems. Seems he bought the bike on a whim after a short test ride, but longer term ownership it proves a little too sporty for him. I’m still not sure why he didn’t just go park it at the nearest dealership and have them sell it for him, but immediately I mention I’m from Cape Town and he gives me R4000 off the listed price to facilitate with transporting the bike or flying up to come fetch it.

At this stage things are moving too fast and I’m overwhelmed and it all just seems too good to be true. He being an utter  gentleman immediately pulls the sale and promises the bike to me and I actually feel bad at this point as I’m not even sure the bank will play along or if I’m going to follow through. Sends me a copy of the registration papers so I can check with BMW as this is a virtually brand new bike that I would be buying sight unseen.

So I call the dealership in Nelspruit and have another lengthy chat to have the VIN number checked and the original order etc. Everything checks out and the vast majority of warranty and roadside assist still remains so this is every bit as good as buying one new with just a few extra kilometres on. It’s also not a demo bike so I’m not worried about it being mistreated in any way.

Granted at this point I still don’t see the point of Keyless Ride or Navigation on a motorcycle but considering the price it’s basically “free” all things considered so I don’t mind. The ball starts rolling and I request quotations for the BMW Topbox, Panniers and their related liners, while I talk to the bank about making this happen.

Having never done a private purchase before I expect this to turn into a nightmare, but the bank is more than happy with it all and facilitate the entire process (at a cost of course) by going out to check the bike and the paperwork and doing a history check etc. A one way plane ticket is booked and I start testing my own patience.

Meanwhile I realise the bike needs to have it’s first service done before I can ride it down to Cape Town which adds a bit of logistics and an extra day to the travel arrangement. This problem magically solves itself when the owner say it’s no problem at all he’ll take the bike down to Nelspruit to have it serviced if I don’t mind the clock reading 800 odd km. Of course I don’t mind, especially when he offers to sort out the first service at no charge to me. Logistically it makes things much easier as my sister happens to stay just outside Nelspruit so I have a place to stay etc.

A few weeks pass and finally the day arrives and at the crack of dawn I’m on a jet plane to Johannesburg and then many many hours of sitting at the airport and finally a 3 1/2 hour shuttle to Nelspruit I arrive at Eastview BMW to pick up my new baby.

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Of course doing my research I’ve since found out that the Granite Grey comes with some extras like the chin spoiler and a different tank pad of sorts integrated into the standard two piece style tank.

I’m still not a fan of the chrome exhaust and on first contact I just cannot understand why BMW did this as it just doesn’t fit. The “standard” exhaust which we don’t get in South Africa looks much much better.

All in all the bike is perfect. Some plastic scuffing/scratching here and there on the non-painted stuff like the windscreen and those little spoilers/wings on the top of the fairing under the grips. Probably just someone not washing it with the two bucket method or proper equipment and should buff out with a bit of plastic treatment. The left side mirror has the smallest of scratches if you really look for it, probably from leaning against a garage wall or something. Nothing really to worry about.

I spend a bit of time at the dealership to sort some things out while they construct the Topbox…and put the BMW logo on off centre before I can stop them to say I’ll do it myself.

One thing is for sure, travelling with bike gear is actually a pretty daunting task especially if you want to flat pack your luggage at the other end so it can go into a Topbox and panniers. My Kriega R30 backpack is not going in anywhere at this point so I just keep it on my back for the 90km trip to my sister’s place with a few odds and ends.

With her living on a farm there is some struggling with the Navigator V between myself and the BMW sales guy to get the coordinates in the correct format to put into the thing and then I eventually set off from the shop on what suddenly feels like a VERY BIG bike.

Turning the corner I realise I don’t have enough fuel in the bike for this journey and so I make my way to the nearest Engen garage by sight alone as I can’t at this point manage the GPS and this new bike without blikseming over somewhere.

Keyless Go confuddles me for a moment or two as the fuel tank won’t open and then I finally figure out you need to switch the bike off properly, not just hit the killswitch. I tell the lady to fill her up (yes here in South Africa people do this for us, it’s job creation, not slavery, I promise) and then realise my wallet is nowhere to be found. In a minor panic as it’s already late in a very long and I really don’t need this shit I start to think about what to tell them while I walk back to the dealership which I can literally see over my shoulder.

Fortunately I did use my brain and put it in a logical place inside the top quick access pocket of the top box liner, it’s just that I’m not used to having these things and fiddling with the key and button to unlock the thing isn’t exactly muscle memory. Yes the Keyless factor doesn’t apply to the luggage which is what really makes it silly for me.

Eastview

Drama averted I trust the GPS to lead me home only to find 5km later that it’s trying to get me back onto the highway in a manner that doesn’t exist due to new construction in the area. So far this GPS nonsense is doing nothing but pissing me off…as expected then.

Eventually I lead myself out of town via another road that doesn’t look at all familiar but I zoom far out on the GPS to at least check that we are going in moderately the right direction. I was fortunately up here a few months ago so I have a reasonable memory of what things should look like and therefore I’m also worried about ending up on some bad gravel road with my new bike.

Passing through a toll gate with a new bike is pretty messy as the muscle memory isn’t there and my luggage is a confusion but I pop out the other end and it’s only 17:30 now but almost pitch black darkness. At this point I’m VERY aware of the panniers and also being in the middle of nowhere I decide to rather just take it easy and follow the cars rather than splitting and overtaking.

Good thing I do because the darker it gets the more crazy the roadworks are and on more than one occasion I hit some loose gravel stones that I don’t see coming and I’m all too happy with the German traction and stability control under my ass, not to mention the dynamic suspension which makes it an almost comfortable experience whereas my Triumph might have just spit me off like a pissed of stallion.

On the home stretch I am now exhausted from the long day and I’m cruising behind a Hyundai IX35 into the final left turn when I suddenly see the car swerve to the right instead of following the usual curvature of the road. If it wasn’t for that car ahead of me I would have hit a very deep square cut out in the tar that might very well have ended up in a career ending crash or at the very least a pant wetting exercise.

Finally I turn into the farm road to my sister’s place. I’m very impressed with the lighting on the BMW as it casts a very wide beam covering three lanes and although a little bit yellow it’s more than adequate. I expected them to be terrible after reading some complaints on the forums.

Very, very dodgy parking on some loose gravel I finally get off and what I expect to be a struggle with the panniers to get my luggage out is actually a very simple process. I’m so glad I bought the liners right now because this would have been a real mess otherwise. Also in retrospect the idea of just taking the panniers off taking them with you isn’t a great one as they don’t actually stand up very well by themselves. Some feet would have been nice there BMW, even if just for storage in the garage.

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Day 1 – Malelane to Sasolburg

Sasolburg

Technically it’s day two I guess, but it’s the first day of proper riding and long distance touring to get back home.

I happen to have family in Sasolburg and since I’m aiming for around 500km per day on my way home it’s the perfect overnight on my way down.

Originally I had planned to head up north to ride the Long Tom Pass, one of the most hardcore passes in all of South Africa and a bit of a motorcycling nirvana as I wouldn’t get that opportunity again very soon. But I was warned about treacherous roads on the way there and also that it would be very misty early in the morning when I would arrive which makes it extra dangerous. So being the first day on my new bike I decided against it.

Instead I headed back the same way I had come the night before for a quick breakfast in Nelspruit with my sister. The benefit of reasonable mileage every day is that you can relax a little and don’t just need to push from point A to B.

After breakfast I headed due south towards Barberton and then on from there to Carolina, which you would miss if they didn’t put a sign up. After what I had suffered the night before with roadworks and pot holes everywhere these roads were blissful and perfect.

Nary another car was spotted and although short the few mountain passes on my way game me some opportunity to try the suspension in the more sporty Dynamic mode. Not that it’s not dynamic in Road mode…another silly thing from BMW, it’s just a bit stiffer and more responsive in this mode and less inclined towards comfort. Having now spent a bit more time with the bike than I did on the demo I must say the change in modes was much much more apparent and immediately the bike was less lazy if you will and turn-in was en pointe and superbly accurate. Cutting through corners the bike followed my instructions exactly and my only worry was scratching those engine cases still, which shouldn’t ever happen but does sit at the back of your mind the whole time.

The further south I went the fact that we are in the middle of winter made itself more and more known. I recall it being around 14 degrees celsius in the shade, a wonderful thing that the bike actually tells you these things I thought at the time, but also terribly distracting.

Not that I’ve ever been to Canada or the Rocky Mountains but the area seems very similar to those, with the same elevation changes while cutting through endless forests and hitting the odd wide open but still very green valley areas. I wanted to stop so many times, especially on one occasion where there was a fire next to the road with smoke billowing into the sky in a very apocalyptic fashion. But I was just enjoying the ride too much and a spot just didn’t present itself that warranted a safe parking space and a good photo of the bike.

By now I had become intimately familiar with the Cruise Control. A feature I never “got” was now being engaged constantly on open stretches and even in some cases on the minor corners that I could see through it would stay on. It’s incredible how much comfort it adds to your riding experience not having to hold that throttle the whole time. Especially on the highways the next few days I would often find myself just resting my fingers on both grips at the second knuckle and in doing so sitting up a bit more and just relaxing in general.

Before getting the bike the guys on the forum were complaining about the disengagement of Cruise Control being too abrupt. I was experiencing this now and although not too terrible when riding alone I can see it being a bigger problem two up. It’s simply a case of the throttle going from X% to zero in an instant and therefore the engine braking, which is quite severe on the Boxer Twin, kicks in and immediately slows the bike down. It’s easily alleviated if you plan to disengage by blipping the throttle and holding it there while touching the clutch as if downshifting, but it can be a bit tricky to get to grips with. If you are planning to slow down completely and not just disengage momentarily it’s a non-issue, especially with Shift Assist as you simply bang down the gears and it switches off at the same time.

On day one I found the lack of +/- buttons very irritating if you want to fine tune your speed for those blue fellows with their cameras. At the time I thought the Ducati system definitely won out here with it’s more conventional “car like” system. Then I got schooled on the forum that the Set/Resume button is actually +/- as well once the Cruise Control is engaged, which is actually a much less fiddly system because there are less buttons to decorate the handlebars. This is taking it a bit far but you think of many things while riding by yourself for hours on end, but I wondered why nobody has ever aligned cruise control with the speed and speed limit aware GPS. It would be quite cool if the Cruise Control could simply up or down your speed as you went from one speed limit zone into another, but practically I guess then it would be the manufacturers fault if you knocked into anything and in the modern world of warning labels and other bullshit that would never fly.

Needless to say I am now a Cruise Control convert. I find myself even using it on a daily basis now when I hit the highway just as a means of speed control. Not quite brave enough to use it during lane splitting though, just too many things to go wrong there and the slight delay in disengaging could make or break a situation.

Somewhere along this way the GPS lost it’s mind even though I had mapped out the entire trip weeks before and loaded it on the memory card the night before with great effort. Suddenly my distance remaining jumped by a few hundred kilometres and so I stopped to ask it to just take me to Sasolburg directly by it’s own means instead which I figured would see me missing some of the spots I had planned to visit, but oh well such is life.

At this point the BMW also seemed to be quite confused about how much fuel it had, with the range indicator constantly reading much lower than it should have been and so I stopped a little prematurely in Badplaas to fill up just in case. Seems it was calibrating itself after standing for a little while or something as it increased tank by tank as I soldiered on for the next few days.

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With every stop the option of hard luggage seemed like a better and better idea. Especially the topbox which is very useful to keep your odds and ends in for easy access as you need to charge your phone, or grab some Powerade or find your wallet and so on.

By now the Shift Assist system had become second nature. What at first seemed like something I would never remember to use when I wasn’t concentrating was already an automatic action whenever braking to simply close the throttle and crash down the gears. And when I say crash I actually mean it as you need to man handle it quite a bit with a very deliberate and certain action. I had some weird things happening with it but quickly figured out it was because I was opening the throttle as I was upshifting instead of holding it wide open or just steady if lower in the range. Many others have complained about the 1st to 2nd action being rough, which I agree is quite hectic on the upshift…but I LOVE using it when downshifting as it makes for a lovely backfire pop.

Considering the standard exhaust is quite boring that little pop adds a little bit of much needed excitement, especially on the long road where you just sit at speed the whole time with corners few and far between. Once in a while putting it into 1st with Shift Assist while at higher revs results in the rear brake level kicking back which I’m guessing is the ABS getting a little excited, although I never saw a light on the dash or anything.

Beyond that the gearbox is a little agricultural when going into 1st at a stand still using the clutch and flicking into 2nd is a hit and miss affair as well. I’m told this is a typical BMW thing and I’m hoping much like my Buell which also had a tractor gearbox, this will improve with age.

Shift Assist should be especially good for riding two up and avoiding the helmet bashing, especially under braking. It is spoiling me though and I worry that when I get on another bike I might completely forget that you need the clutch, especially when shifting down.

Soldiering on the road itself was somewhat uneventful until I reached the not so little town of Bethal and avoided a pothole that I can only describe as a sink hole. Had I not seen that it would have been one way in and no way out as it was probably half a metre deep. This is Africa, no signage or flags or any kind, it’s just assumed you will see these things.

Toll roads, toll roads and more toll roads. This didn’t come into my planning for this trip at all, neither did the fact that petrol costs a whole lot more money in land, but I can honestly say it is highly annoying (for everyone else) stop at a toll with bikes. The fact that I get charged the same as cars that weight 10 times more is a whole different conversation. Just make a slip lane for bikes, it will make everyone happier, seriously.

And somewhere after one of these tolls as I was heading towards the shitty of Nigel a little blue man jumped into the road. I was of a mind to ignore him and carry on, but then I figured hang on I did nothing wrong I wasn’t speeding or anything so let me just stop. Ear plugs in with a tube scarf thing over my head and ears I had a hard time understanding what he was trying to tell me, but it turns out that I apparently went over a barrier line. I wasn’t sure if I did or not, because being on a bike the laws of physics don’t apply equally to me as they do to cars, even though the legality remains the same, so I will cross them to overtake when safe to do so. I told him to write the fine because I wasn’t going to argue about it and we had a little chat when he saw the number plate that was very far from home and was even more impressed when I told him I was heading to Cape Town. After the fact I thought about it and realised that I probably didn’t cross any barrier line at all, but when a bribe wasn’t forthcoming and I told him to write the fine he had no evidence whatsoever, because suddenly I was told he would cut me some slack and let me go.

Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. Maybe he wanted a bribe, maybe he was being a good guy…who knows but I was on my way again shortly after.

Let’s not turn this into a corner by corner play by play, but soon I started running low on fuel again and used the Navigator V to point me towards a petrol station. I was looking for one of a known brand name thinking they would be bigger, but while riding it’s tricky and ended up at the most questionable no-name-brand gas station you can imagine….literally it was white with no branding. I asked if they accepted credit cards and to my surprise they did so I said fill her up. Then enquired about the toilet and was told it’s around the back. Dodgeville here we come, I was pretty sure this is raping time now and was thankful I only needed to pee as the toilet was…erm…rather uncouth. I was thinking that due to the ride on the plane I didn’t have my Leatherman on me so no weapon of any kind except maybe for a key in my pocket, but at least I was wearing some bike gear so had some armour if worse came to worse.

Of course it was hopelessly (thankfully) uneventful and I was on my way again only to find out that had I kept going straight where I turned off there was a Sasol just down the road which I probably could have seen if only I had looked. The first of many lessons regarding trusting a GPS instead of just looking around for my damn self.

What was in reality the late afternoon started to feel like night again as the sun dipped lower and I started pushing to get to the end destination. Weird how the closer to civilisation I got the more the potholes started to appear. At least around these parts they fill them with some kind of pink concrete/tar so they are easy to spot and in reality there aren’t many actual holes just somewhat unstable surfaces.

Turning left towards Vanderbijlpark I spotted a stranded bike next to the road and I wasn’t really surprised when I stopped and walked up to it that it was a Big Boy. The chain had come off and was stuck between the swingarm and sprocket. I broke the BMW tools out from under the seat so we could try and wedge it past the bolts on the sprocket but we had no such luck. Older gentleman and I suspect probably never serviced the thing or adjusted and lubed the chain ever, but it might have just stretched in the process of coming off. We had a pleasant chat and he was very interested in the BMW, the first random person so far who wanted to chat about it. He called his son who wasn’t too far off to come fetch him and sent me on my way as it was getting dark and I was in foreign territory after all.

Arriving at my family I first grabbed a much needed coffee to warm up a little bit. The heated grips on the RS are superb and even though the little spoilers under your hands and the overlap of fairing do take some wind off your gloves your hands are still right out in the open and so you have the age old problem of warm hands on the inside and cold hands on the outside. That being said the clutch and brake levers themselves don’t get cold like my Triumph’s because they are painted, or maybe it’s just the aerodynamics. Fact is at the end of the day if you didn’t switch the heated grips on at all you might have been bothered less by the cold as it’s more equalised. As it stands though…why would you not use a feature that’s there. I will see how my day to day riding goes with the cold, but might look at some more road bike friendly hand guards at some point in the future.

On the topic of heat, my Sidi Vertigo’s are summer boots and have never exactly been warm during winter. Aside from not being waterproof which generally doesn’t help for the cold, they are quite thin and very sporty. The benefit of a giant boxer engine though is that the cylinder heads sit right in front of your feet and if you ride on your toes like I do most of the time then your feet are completely protected from the elements and maybe even get some residual heat from the motor. So not once on my entire trip did my feet really feet achingly cold, this while I never even got the thermal socks I planned to.

Anyway, this being the first time unloading the bike I found the panniers easy to open and popping out the liners was a simple process. I like the little details BMW put into the panniers to hold the liner in place with straps so that everything doesn’t just fall out while the case is open. The single clip on those straps is a little fiddly, but at the same time such a high quality that I’m sure it will last the life of the bike. It’s also in typical luminous orange, I’m guessing so it’s easy to find in the dark although I didn’t have that need yet.

I am very happy with the liners after reading some negative comments on the R1200RSForums and people going for third party ones instead. I loaded them as full as you can possibly load them without stripping the zip and they fitted inside the panniers happily. This I believe was the main problem for other people as they felt there was wasted space left in the panniers, but more me it does the job with aplomb. The panniers themselves aren’t waterproof (I’m yet to have them in serious rain to know if this is an issue) so the waterproofing is built into the liners. It’s essentially a bag inside a bag system with waterproof zippers and rip cord system. The “outside” of each liner then has a second pocket with a mesh instead of a waterproof seal, I guess for things that need to breath. The branding on both the pannier and topbox liners is surprisingly subtle saying only BMW Motorrad with no logos.

To  me personally the topbox liner is the most useful as I’ll always have it on the bike and use it for a laptop bag. It’s a big square (rectangular?) bag with double zip and then a smaller flat pocket inside the lid of the main bag which is perfect for your small loose odds and ends like keys, wallet, cellphone, visor cleaner, headphones, powerbank and whatever else I had in there while on the road. I almost had a heart attack when I got home and it seemed like my laptop wouldn’t fit inside the Topbox, while fitting in the bag just fine, but that’s because it narrows at the opening and you just need to go in at a slight angle. One thing I do find silly is that they only put a handle on top for loading in and out of the top box, but you can’t really carry it like this because it’s firstly impractical and secondly all the force is on the zips and I expect them to strip. A handle along the front so you can carry it vertically would have helped. Granted there is a shoulder strap which performs this function, I would have just preferred to carry it by hand and forego the strap completely. A small caveat, but enough of one that I might inspire someone to sew a handle in there for me at some point.

Just about 600km later I finally sat down somewhere other than a motorcycle and I must say although I was a little stiff and uncomfortable I wasn’t really sore or in pain. Sure I felt a bit more abused than I do when just riding my Street Triple to work, but I certainly didn’t feel like I just spend all day on a motorcycle. By the next morning, apart from a headache that suddenly appeared after I woke up (I think lack of hydration was at fault) I was feeling 100%. No back pain, no wrist ache, no stiff shoulders or sore feet…I bought the right bike after all.

Day 2 – Sasolburg to Colesberg 

Day2

I always knew this would be the most boring part of the trip as it’s mostly just highway and there it’s really much of an alternative way round.

Heading out late at 10:00 as I had a relaxing breakfast and chat with family and also dodging the cold as much as I can, I hit the boring highway and put the bike on cruise and largely left it there for most of the day.

Made quick progress to Kroonstad and then things started going pear shaped when I got diverted by road works off the highway to go around and the GPS said one thing and the signs said another…and I trusted the technology.

Which greeted me with “Potholes for the next 10km” signs…every ten kilometres. Fortunately there weren’t actually any of significance but you don’t take your chances and so the pace was vastly reduced to 80km/h or so for about 200km or so and the detour was already adding substantial mileage to the day’s travels.

Fortunately the R30 later offered some beautiful scenery and I decided to stop and take some pictures.

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She’s a pretty girl for sure, although a big and unwieldy one at times. The boxer motor extensions also grow on you over time, I love that it’s a naked bike and a faired bike at the same time. Like someone said to me (sans panniers) she’s like a girl with DD cups but no ass.

Coming into Bloemfontein I remembered the problem I picked up on Day 1 when trying to move the windscreen to the top screw holes and finding there was no thread there. Being one of the bigger cities in South Africa and the judicial capital I used the BMW Motorrad button on the GPS which I figured nobody would ever need and would you believe it there was Sovereign BMW plotted on my route.

Popping in at the shop they at first didn’t believe me that this is possible, telling me that it’s probably for a larger touring windscreen, until I happened to spot an RS in their second stock and would you believe it that one had the screen on the higher setting. So they made a plan to thread the holes with a tool and then moved it for me. I’m not convinced those bolts are ever coming out again and they aren’t nearly tight enough leaving a bit of space or need for a washer, but it seems to only rattle when very cold and at idle so it’s okay for now. I’ll mention it to Donford when I take it in for it’s 10000km service. Possibility of a warranty claim is probably out of the window now that some backyard mechanic has “make it work” but we’ll see.

After pottering around Bloemfontein looking for the Roco Mama’s they advertised on the massive billboard sign and only to find that it wasn’t actually open yet I settled on Romans Pizza and realised my ear ring was missing. Price you pay for being on the road I guess, maybe it’s time to pack that in now that I’m “old” and riding a BMW. Filled her up and readied myself for the final stretch.

The lift in the windscreen most definitely made a different to comfort levels. I’m 1.78m and at this height I get only the last little bit of wind coming off the screen and into my helmet. Sure, I’m used to riding without any windscreen at all so it never really bothered me that much in the first place and I’m yet to experience this buffeting I hear of so often, but every little bit helps at the end of the day. I do question the entire need for the 2-stage drop and lift while you ride system as I don’t see why you would ever want it lower for any given period.

Once again the early darkness out here in the Karoo caught me off guard and I started to push on as it got colder and colder the lower the sun went. Setting the Cruise Control to 144km/h as per the GPS I knew I was taking chances but I figured I was far enough out of town for it not to be a worry…and just as I had that thought a little man in a blue suit hopped out from behind a barrier.

Bastard had his car hidden down the hill and the speed camera mounted on what seemed like three tripod extensions just to level it out. I’m not sure how legal that is, but he told me to come check my speed and it was spot on 144km/h so I couldn’t even argue. I knew I was in the wrong so what can you say…at least their equipment is accurate. I guess he was surprised that I was nice to him and we had a bit of a chat about my trip and he was kind enough to warn me about two others spots up ahead and told me what I could reasonably do 10km/h over and nobody would bother me…I pushed my luck at +14km/h over for the rest of the way.

Probably an hour later as it was almost fully dark and just twenty minutes before it started pissing with rain I arrived at Die Klei Pot B&B (The Clay Pot) which I pretty much selected on the merit of having the only single room and a security gate.

WOW! What a surprise this great little place was, specifically their restaurant. I ended up being one one only two tables booked for the evening and funnily enough they were also passing through having picked up a BMW (car not bike) somewhere and taking it home.

I had a divine garlic mushroom starter, lamb shank, loin and chop for mains and then a white chocolate and berry dessert. With a beer it all came down to <R200. It’s not quite worth the drive from Cape Town just to eat there, but if you are ever passing through by all means do stop, even if just for lunch.

Their room was more than adequate and good value for money as well. Almost like a bachelor bad with the bathroom and bedroom all in a single room with a divider in between. Very thoughtful with rusks and coffee so I opted not to have breakfast there before departing but rather in Graaff-Reinet which is *only* 170km away.

Day 3 – Colesberg to De Rust

Day3

And what a mistake it was to decide to have breakfast “just” 170km away.

I planned my trip so that the mileage became less each day and so I figured I can take it easy but check out was at 10:00 anyway so I was on the road again. 4 Degrees Celsius wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected it to be once I was geared up and on the move.

It didn’t really get nearly as cold as I expected all day, especially not while in the sun, but the drastic fluctuations only kilometres apart did start to eat away at me I won’t lie. Especially when I approached Middelburg and there were roadworks, with roadworks on top of roadworks.

Worst of those being as you entered the town and the bridge that formed part of the highway was being completely rebuilt. Still not having learnt my lesson I looked at the GPS for guidance instead of following the signs for the detour and after an unpaved road and a water crossing (take that GS) I ended up in front of a locked gate with the Garmin telling me repeatedly to go left regardless of what route I selected.

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So I tracked back and tried visually navigating to the bloody road that I could see right in front of me and eventually used the old fashioned way of asking people to get to the other side of town where Mr. Garmin finally woke up and re-routed me correctly.

Lost almost an hour messing around and backtracking so breakfast was a lot further than just 170km away by now.

The night before, having nothing better to do…you know like writing this blog when I should have been writing it, I scoped out breakfast/lunch options and so I headed straight towards Polka as I entered Graaff-Reinet.

By now my stomach was eating itself and so the lack of service was a major let down, but after making myself heard I can say that the great food made up for it rather quickly. Maybe the food was good? Maybe I was just hungry?

I had a Pissaladière which is essentially a pizza made from ciabatta dough. This one with salami and avo, red peppers and Gorgonzola cheese. Yes I know you come here for bikes…but what the hell, I like to praise things that deserve praise.

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Graaff-Reinet is a lovely little town and I wish I had more time to spend there. If I wasn’t already married I’m sure I could have found a home with the lovely waitress who treated me like a true foreigner with my exotic Cape Tonian.

Pretty girls from the Karoo aside, there was a German lady waiting outside who still had a very long ride ahead of her. I filled up before heading out of town and with the fuel range now seeming much more reasonable I was hoping not to do so again that day.

Heading towards Willowmore I realised that I was now actually in the Eastern Cape and that this trip had me going through six of the nine provinces in South Africa which is quite a feat looking back on it.

The weather was playing tricks now and with the clouds shielding the sun away from me and mountains casting shadows on my path the little pockets of cold made for a little discomfort at times. Throughout my entire journey I was very lucky to only feel a few droplets of rain here and there and never get truly wet, then the cold might have been a serious problem.

By now the three days of riding were taking a bit of their toll on me and I was pushing a little to get to De Rust as I had a friend on a KTM meeting there for the final stretch home on the last day.

Somewhere between Aberdeen and Willowmore I felt it was time to take some photos while there was still light and stretch my legs, hoping that I would ride all the way into De Rust on the fuel I had left.

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Already part of the cult and getting arty with the (scew) logo.

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Great road surfaces out here, although maybe a bit straight and boring at times.

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With speed limit signs rarely in sight the reminder to keep the throttle at a respectable opening was rarely respected, especially the ability to see ahead for kilometres on end and very little traffic.

This bike is what you would call quick rather than fast, because it was never built for silly top speeds and even though it’s quite heavy at 236kg fully loaded the flat torque curve with a lack of conventional powerband let’s it maintain a pace that quite often sneaks up on you as it doesn’t really smash your face in as you go about things.

Especially as someone who isn’t used to having aerodynamics on my side I often had to take a double take of the almost illegible speedometer and compare it with the GPS to make sure it wasn’t lying to me.

Of course due to this increased pace the fuel range indicator was liberally lowering itself and I decided to pop in for a refill at Willowmore before entering Ostrich country proper.

I won’t lie after three days of riding and I think mostly because I did it all alone I was now pretty gatvol of the open road and needed some distraction. I lowered the pace as the sun was sitting low and hitting me right in the face, Shoei sun visor be damned.

Then as approached the T-junction just before De Rust I suddenly remembered why I always choose this place to stay over on bike trips. The infamous Meiringspoort was just a few kilometres to my right and I suddenly felt very inspired and grateful that I had fuelled up earlier.

Meiringspoort is my idea of the best public road race course we have in South Africa and if only it looped we could have had our very own Isle of Man style road race here. It’s 25km of nothing but corners with the road constructed over the river that runs through the Swartberg Mountains and connects the Klein Karoo to the Great Karoo.

Since the KTM was running late I turned right. Dynamic suspension mode engaged…Dynamic throttle engaged…brain engaged so you don’t cock this up and remember there are panniers on the back and engine cases hanging off the sides. It’s a treacherous road when slightly wet and object fixation is a big issue as I found out many years ago on my Gixxer 600 when I almost ended up in the river. I’m fortunate there there is absolute no traffic about and the cold hasn’t set in just yet to make it damp.

Going through it one way I was taking it quite easy as this was still a new bike to me after all and it’s been a while since I was last here so I can’t ride it on memory. Even so somewhere along the line something scraped on the ground and I just missioned on at a slightly less liberal pace because what was I really going to do about it.

I was absolutely astounded at the pace the RS could maintain through this very technical road and I was smiling from ear to ear like an idiot, long forgotten that my phone was charging in the topbox and if I cocked this up it might not end very well for me. It’s a beautiful place with waterfalls dropping into large pools and mountain sides wrapped closely along the road so much so that you can’t lean into some of the corners too much as you might very well scratch your helmet against the rock face.

Needless to say I wasn’t paying much attention to the beauty right then and purely focused on the tar ahead of me. After three days in the saddle I was feeling truly alive and the bike was showing it’s darker more sporty side and the “old man” BMW perception was quickly forgotten.

Pulling into a rest area after completing the full circuit the bike was pinging as it cooled for the first time and I could definitely say that it was now properly run-in if it hadn’t been before.

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It’s only 16:38…but is that the moon?

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After that bit of road racing I was now truly exhausted and headed off into the quaint town of De Rust to check in at Olivier’s Rust my resting place for the evening, but I was definitely coming back in the morning to show the KTM this epic road and give it another go with a fresher memory.

I have stayed here many times over the years as it’s the perfect distance from Cape Town for a one day ride at 450 km odd and the excellent roads of Route 62 to get here make it an interesting but not too taxing ride.

Turns out the place was bought out three years ago and got considerable upgrades so I was shocked to find air conditioning and wireless in the middle of bloody nowhere, with newly refitted floors, kitchen and bathrooms for almost no money.

Mr KTM eventually arrived under the cover of darkness while also freezing his ass off having ignored all my warnings about arriving before the sun sets.

Of course as luck would have it the new owners are bikers too with two BMW R1200GS’s so we had some lekker long chats were told to come park our bikes in doors for the night.

We never did, as the night got away from us and it was too much effort later in the cold.

Food isn’t big on this town’s mind. At least not in the restaurant sense, so self-catering is the way to go and if you come out here the braai facilities are excellent. I’m sure you could do better in the self-catering kitchen than either of the two eateries in the dorp, if you don’t want to braai.

Sticking to the traditions of the area we bought some Klippies & Coke earlier and settled in doors for the night as me might have frozen in place if we stayed outside any longer.

Bike trips are so much better with company and already the road seemed infinitely shorter, too much so as my last day approached…and we hadn’t even ridden anywhere yet.

Day 4 – De Rust to Cape Town

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After a nice and warm night of good rest upon this weary journey we had quite the shocker when opening the front door and the cold streamed and this at a rather late 09:00 or so, I recall seeing 2 degrees on the bike that had been sleeping outside all night as was now frosted in place and very very wet.

After packing and summoning the courage to hit the road we took a quick right out of town so I could show the Orange Monstrosity the wonder of Meiringspoort that I had ridden alone the night before.

Keeping in mind that the road would be damp, but also having some recent experience under my belt I gave it horns and it was simply the perfect way to get the blood pumping and the brain aligned for the day ahead.

Here I thought I was giving the KTM a good ass kicking until we turned around to head back at the Evil Orange pulled away from me like the devil was chasing him…with the front wheel pointing towards the sky. I laid chase after being initial caught off guard and when the super motard styles came out for the first corner I was ready to reel it in.

Let’s not forget the RS is a big bike and the KTM is almost a supermodel in comparison, but his corner entry speed had me wondering if he has any clue what’s on the other side, but at the same time the big brawler German would catch the Austrian again on corner exist and we had this constant to and fro in and out of corners which pushed the limits just a little without really getting dangerous.

Compared to similar bikes like the VFR1200 I’ve ridden before I’m sure the RS would hand out a serious ass kicking, but it would be interesting to see how things would have compared if all riders didn’t need to ride a whole day just to get home and put self preservation at the back of their minds.

We stopped for a quick breather and a photo, both bikes pinging and ponging while waiting patiently for the long road ahead.

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Turning the volume all the way down from 11 to maybe 2 or 3 we headed back into De Rust to fill up and then cruised out to the Oudtshoorn for breakfast.

Somewhere in the middle Mr KTM realised his license was missing and so when another car warned us about a road block ahead someone had a little panic and we cruised by in a very innocent and sedate fashion without disturbance.

Foursquare was nice enough to recommend Nostalgie which I only now learn is also a B&B and maybe worth a future stay over.

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Not the greatest photo, but it’s interesting to see just how small the KTM looks by comparison.

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Even though this is Ostrich country the Chicken Liver, Bacon and Feta Roosterkoek caught my eye and I’m very happy I indulged as it was fantastic.

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Now that we fuelled ourselves up we were properly ready for the day and so we set off on our way and headed to Ladismith to fill up and pop in at KTM’s family for some cofee.

A little road works aside there were some magical mountain passes that had been recently re-surfaced and with almost no traffic to speak of we had a fantastic time chasing each other through the mountains.

The KTM has the aerodynamic disadvantage so at higher speeds it gets easily dropped by the RS, but on the flipside at lower speeds and through heavy corners it takes the upper hand again quite easily so it made for a very good and interesting riding partner.

Somewhere in the midst of egging each other on I scraped something on the bike again and although uneventful it did have me reset the pace a little bit and remind myself that I still need to get home in one piece.

Ladismith done and dusted we chased each other on to Barrydale, but our lunch plans were thwarted when the place we meant to eat at was closed for the day. We opted to head on through to Montagu as we had enough fuel spare and the hunger could be kept at bay.

It’s amazing how the pace is always faster and more aggressive the moment there are other bikes in the mix, even ones you don’t know. It was a welcome change to the last few days of riding alone and the newly tarred roads were just phenomenal. When you can absolutely trust the surface you are riding on without question it just adds so much more enjoyment to the ride and you can really focus on riding properly.

Unfortunately more road works before Montagu had us turning off the route and going past the town and instead of turning back we opted to head straight for Ashton that is just on the other side of the mountain.

Little did we know this would be the worst roadworks of them all with Stop/Go closures and proper offroad adventures the KTM loved but the RS wasn’t so keen for. With hunger calling many a chance was taken and with the sun going low we opted to take it one step further and head for Robertson so the final stretch home would be done in one sitting.

Coincidentally I had visited the Klipdrift Restaurant when I had just gotten my Triumph Street Triple so it now seemed almost traditional to do the same and stop there with my new bike.

I had fond memories of massive burgers and since breakfast was late and heavy we opted to share one. Well that turned out to be a little underwhelming as my memory faded or the burger had shrunk since then, but fortunately the milkshake made up for it.

The KTM filled up again at Shell heading out of town, but I opted not to thinking this would be the final stretch and the last stop with the longer range of the BMW such that I should just make it home with some fuel to spare.

We hit the Winelands proper heading through Worcester and for a Friday afternoon the roads were filling up. Although damn cold it’s beautiful country and we opted to skip the boring tunnel and tolls and go over the mountain to see the grandeur of Cape Town at it’s finest.

The sun was sadly at such a bad angle that we couldn’t really give the mountain pass what it deserves coming down the other side, frequently having to use my hand in front of my face to scout ahead as even the sun visor wasn’t helping.

As we slid past Paarl the BMW decided that the pace was just a little too much and the range indicator said –, so rather than pushing her home at the end of a long journey I opted to stop at the nearest garage.

The petrol attendants were full of stories since I still have Limpopo plates on and just couldn’t believe that someone would ride a bike that far, especially not in this weather.

Final few kilometres of highway and then into suburbia the KTM told me later than deciding to lane split the last little bit home almost ended badly as I apparently got very very close to a car with my panniers that I had long forgotten about.

Just over 2100 km and four days later I finally got home with my new two wheeled companion in what was ultimately an effort and event-less journey.

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I know this didn’t make for much of a review and I will cover that soon having spent some more time in the saddle doing day to day normal riding.

At the end of the day I’m very very satisfied with the BMW R1200RS and very happy I took the plunge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rise of the Triad

I’ve never been a huge BMW fan. Whether motorcycles or cars. I would just always find something else that ticked the boxes better or was simply more appealing overall.

Aside from the K1200/1300S, which let’s face it is nothing but a Honda Blackbird clone, I’ve never even been inclined to test ride one.

Let’s be honest, affordability has also always been a concern. Especially with their cars, the ones I do like were simply beyond affordable, so not even worth talking about. Now that I’m older and wiser, the bikes are at least reasonable.

Then came 2015 and BMW just seems to be on the money with rolling out bikes that appeal to me. Beyond that I’m also pretty disillusioned with the general dealership experience in Cape Town and my BMW-riding friends keep ranting and raving about the awesome service in Apple-like fanaticism that I just needed to make a plan.

So I popped an email off to Harry Clifton at Donford Cape Town with a frankly ridiculous request to come and ride four different bikes back to back in a single day. Not only did he get back to me in exactly 56 minutes, but was also massively accommodating with my request as if it happens every day.

On the list was the R1200RS which I expected not to like for reasons of comfort and being too similar in ergonomics to my Street Triple, but is shaft driven and runs with a Boxer Twin. Next up was the S1000XR which ticked all the comfort boxes again but has a chain drive and is running an inline-four cylinder which I’ll be frank is always a soulless experience to me.

Those are the two bikes I’m genuinely interested in buying but I added the RnineT to the list just “for science” reasons, especially as riding many miles on a Triumph Thruxton of late has opened up my mind to that kind of thing. Then I also got bludgeoned into at least trying the non-Adventure 1200GS because I apparently simply have to experience it. Really, my mates do sound like the Apple fandom when it comes to singing GS praises. It is the iPhone of motorcycling apparently.

What do I really want?

I thought it best to explain what I’m looking for so that my comments regarding wants and needs or likes and dislikes tie into something a little more sensible.

I’ve gone through a Suzuki GSX-R600, then a Buell XB9SX and most recently a Triumph Street Triple R. Through all the years I kept the Buell the longest as it was the most comfortable and I had gone through the motions of purchasing luggage for it which made it all the more useful. Had it not been for an intimately physical conversation with a Mazda and the resultant mental “misalignment” with motorcycling I would probably still be riding it today.

For various reasons, some of which involves my health the Triumph has been murdering me slowly day by day for the part year with it’s very hard pitched forward into the tank seat, hard as hell suspension and general discomfort to my wrists even though the bars have been raised by 20 mm.

So my next bike is all about comfort while still retaining at least reasonably sporty undertones. Part of that comfort is the ability to carry my daily luggage on a 75 km round trip without needing to strap it to my person while also looking reasonably appropriate in doing so. If a top box wouldn’t look utterly ridiculous on a Street Triple I would have done it ages ago already.

Apart from the comfort and luggage factors I also want a Batmobile, with every possible piece of technology that is available. My friends are desperate to have me join the off-roading fold but I simply don’t see the point buying a compromised bike when realistically all my riding would still be on tar.

I would rather buy a built for the road motorcycle now and in a year or two buy a properly off-roadable bike second hand and go nuts with that, not minding so much if I crash or bend this and that.

So let’s go riding…

2016 BMW R 1200 RS

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To say I was apprehensive about this one was an understatement. I compared it to my Street Triple on Cycle Ergo beforehand and it just didn’t seem like it would make much of a difference at all switching to this bike for comfort.

Walking up to it the white and blue metallic paint is quite striking because there is enough of both colours that the bike appears more blue than it does white, whereas my own bike is almost too white with only little red accents. I’ve never had a blue one before…I like this.

The bike didn’t appear overly large walking up to it, maybe just a bit longer than I’m used to because of the luggage rack fitted as standard on the back. Getting onto it though there is a hell of a lot going on in front of you and it suddenly seems rather large, bringing back nightmares of the VFR1200 which is the only bike similar to this that I rode in recent years.

Then I hit the starter button and the sideways twist from the Boxer motor almost threw me off balance. I rode a 1200GS once many moons ago, I think when they just came out with the 1200 which was still air-cooled back then and I simply didn’t remember that at all maybe because the bike was already running.

Now I loved my Buell for it’s insane torque that made it walk backwards, so the fact that this thing was doing that same thing, only sideways had me already grinning inside.

Then I pulled in the clutch…and I thought something must be broken. The RS has the lightest clutch I have EVER used on a motorcycle. When I say light I don’t mean “less heavy” I mean basically there is no resistance at all, it’s like operating the lever on your toaster, not a clutch on what is essentially heavy machinery.

One of my biggest comfort issues is related to the clutch action making my hand and wrist seize which leads to me often just going clutch-less as much as possible to avoid using it.

So off I went down the driveway and waiting for traffic to turn into the road I realised this is probably the lowest bike of this kind I’ve ever ridden. I was happily putting both feet down and although catching the foot beg slightly with my boot (as I do with all BMW’s it seems) I was immediately in my comfort zone with this bike.

Down the road and doing a quick U-turn towards Hout Bay I wasn’t even a hundred metres away from the dealership before I was asking myself how on earth this thing is so comfortable when it shouldn’t be and started waiting for the penny to drop.

Granted the seat to peg distance does scrunch your legs up a little bit, definitely much more so than on the XR which has you sitting quite squarely, but it’s by no means uncomfortable or even noticeable short of direct comparison. The biggest surprise however was the ratio of my torso to the handlebars and that I didn’t even feel slightly strained in my lower back, upper back, shoulders or my wrists. I think it all comes down to the seat being so low that in essence the bars are higher than you expect, while also being so plush that your ass really doesn’t have anything to complain.

The bike has I think four different seat options adding more height or sportiness by tilting you forward into the tank. Personally unless my legs were to become uncomfortable over time I don’t see why I would opt for any of the others as that would then throw out the ass to handlebar ratio and cause a different concern.

Where the XR holds you firmly in place and is therefore more comfortable in the moment, the RS allows you to move around the seat a little bit. Someone commented that on the long road that’s exactly what you want as sitting in one place can get tedious. Again it wasn’t a complaint, just something I noticed comparing the two.

Pulling away from the robots (as we call them down here) that beautiful clutch action was working it’s magic, but since this bike was fitted with Gear Shift Assist Pro (aka BMW Quickshifter) I figured it’s time to forego that and see what happens. Looking down at the LCD dash display the gear indicator actually shows you a little arrow when going above 3000 rpm to indicate that you can now use Shift Assist…and so I did.

Let’s be honest, it’s not as smooth at lower revs and doesn’t work quite as well as on the 4-cylinder XR but it’s still pure magic compared to the unpredictable Triumph unit I had used recently. The Triumph one would often cut out the engine but then not change resulting in a sort of false neutral, whereas the BMW either works every single time or simply doesn’t do anything at all.

The true beauty of Shift Assist Pro is the Pro part though which allows you to down shift as well. Simply close the throttle as you would normally and pop the foot lever down, the bike does all the rev matching for you and bam you’ve gone from 4 to 3 and 2 to 1 on the LCD in front of you without the bike even dipping it’s head.

Obviously you need to pull the clutch in if you were heading for a complete stop, but the really useful part of the system is that you can just keep leaning hard on the brakes while smashing down the gearbox. Even better is that unlike an automatic car for instance this is completely optional. If you feel like doing it all yourself one day you just carry on as normal and ignore the Shift Assist system, unlike a car where a clutch level isn’t going to magically appear at your left foot.

The higher you rev it the smoother it shifts and I know many people don’t get the point, especially those adept at clutch-less shifting. Sure it’s probably only a little bit faster than doing it by hand but the real benefit is that it happens so smoothly. Further more this being a touring bike odds are you’ll have a passenger on the back and for that reason alone I would definitely opt-in for Shift Assist to reduce the usual helmet bashing, or possibly eliminate it all together.

Being able to shift both up and down without using the clutch also makes those leisurely one handed throttle-only rides an absolute pleasure. Yes yes I know we are supposed to keep all hands on deck at all times to keep the cops happy, but I’m sure we all do the left hand on hip right hand on throttle action at least once on our way home.

Amongst all this faffing with the gearbox though I simply couldn’t miss the megaton of torque that this 1170cc motor knocks out. In fact if you want to get serious and look at the numbers it’s pushing out 125 Nm @ 6800 rpm which is 12 Nm more than it’s S1000RR superbike sister in law at much lower revs, while not being far behind the almighty Ducati Panigale 1299. Without Googling a dyno chart I can also tell you with seat-of-the-pants surety that most of that torque happens just above idle in true Diesel-power fashion.

I’m sure the Boxer die hards know all about it, but anyone else that is uninitiated like I was before this ride need to make a plan and go ride a Boxer based BMW. Any of them will do the job.

At this point as I was heading up Table Mountain the bike was incredibly composed for such a seemingly large beast. It feels much bigger than it really is, probably more for me personally as I’m not used to having big windscreens and fairing mounted mirrors and such any more.

The mirrors sit far forward and are the widest point of the bike, unless you have the optional panniers fitted. Because of this my usual chicken wing style “will my elbows fit through that gap” style of measurement doesn’t exactly apply and because it wasn’t my bike I wasn’t going to chance too much lane splitting just yet.

Hitting a few curves up Kloof Nek the bike and I were immediately in tune with one another and leaning it all the way over while passing cars wasn’t even a thought pattern but rather an instinctive action.

Going over and down the hill on the other side I got stuck in some single lane traffic. I was a little liberal with the rear brake on my approach which had a sudden kickback action presumably from the ABS although I didn’t see the light come on. I must say it’s a genuine pleasure and a surprise to find a properly sized rear brake level on a bike that isn’t trying to hide under the engine and big enough for any size boot to lever comfortably.

While I was chilling in traffic and not wanting to cross any solid lines I took the time to mess around with the dashboard and the various electronic suspension and throttle settings. I must say as a BMW-n00b I’m still not quite sure if i was doing it right and tried every variety of long pressing or holding buttons to make stuff happen. I’m sure with genuine ownership and a manual in hand it would be a simple thing to get used to though.

I was under the impression that only Dynamic suspension mode actually changed anything dynamically so I spent most of my time in that mode as I felt it a little silly to have all this fancy suspension and then not use it. Then you might as well just use a spanner with conventional stuff. Turns out the Road mode is also fully dynamic and that Dynamic should actually translate to “sporty” where it’s just a bit more sensitive and adjusts itself much quicker to your surroundings.

Oddly I knew Dynamic was the more sporty option with throttle input so why I didn’t apply that logic to the suspension is beyond me. So I put it all in Dynamic mode and was soon free of the cars holding me up as I hit the beautifully sunny and surprisingly wind free coast.

By this time I was pretty settled in with the bike and so I gave it horns around the twisty bits. I can honestly say this is the safest and most comfortable I have ever felt on any bike at such a pace. On one hand I want to say that it always felt faster than it really was, yet at the same time it’s also deceptively quick. I think it’s more about the surprising lean angles at speed, rather than the speeds themselves.

At some point I was leaning it all the way over when I thought to myself “hmm…this thing has massive cylinder heads sticking out the side” and so I looked down to find what seemed positively dangerous to me. Needless to say it’s a false alarm and having a chat with the folks on the R1200RS Forums it sounds like nobody really puts their engines cases down short of actually crashing the bike, so it must just be a top down perception thing.

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I was having such a ball that I smashed right past my usual stop for taking photos and just missioned onwards straight in and out of Hout Bay again spotting some unbranded Porsches (apparently they are testing the 718’s down here) but they sadly turned the other way so there was no fun to be had.

Again I was stuck in some horrendous traffic, but instead of trying to make a break past them I took it as a good opportunity to see what the bike is like in the real world. I’m happy to say that you can go as low in the revs as you dare and it pulls perfectly without any surging or dips in torque. The throttle is also smooth as silk and there are no surprises. Sure the Shift Assist doesn’t work at all with low revs, but I never found myself unaware of that and just rode accordingly.

Parking off for a quick picture my first thought was that this bike stands incredibly upright on it’s stand. In Cape Town the wind is a major worry and although the thing fortunately has a centre-stand I still find it a little ridiculous. I see the guys on the forum also complain about this so maybe with enough moaning BMW will issue a recall. Parking against a slight incline it could throw itself over by just starting it.

Having a quick walk around while taking pictures I just noticed so many little quality details. From those little wings in the flanks of the half fairing to just the way the multi piece tank is put together and the way the bolts are used as a feature instead of being hidden away. Everything has a serious quality feel about it. Pushing the windscreen up and down feels rock solid and I left it in the upright touring position before I set off again.

Making a very questionable u-turn I then almost saw my arse on a bloody acorn of all things. This is where the height comes into play. Were it a taller bike like the XR which I can ride quite happily but struggle with in these manoeuvres I might very well have found myself on my bike looking at the clouds contemplating the very large amount of money I would need to pay BMW to fix it. Meanwhile it was simply a minor “oopsie” and off I went again.

Putting the bike in Road mode for both throttle and suspension I definitely felt it was a bit softer but not in a wallowing kind of way. This would happily make for my default mode every day as the throttle is also just a little bit more docile and everything just gets soaked up in a little less frantic manner.

Throughout the experience of riding I can’t say I noticed anything different with regards to the shaft drive. Needless to say anyone worried about going for the shaft should just be more than happy about the lack of maintenance and have nothing else to fear. If anything the complete lack of drivetrain response came to the fore with the XR I rode after, but more on that later.

Somewhere in the middle of all this I realised that I hadn’t tied up my helmet, which is very rare for me as I’m very methodical safety first kind of guy. Probably got distracted with excited or chatting to the guys at the dealership. It was the perfect excuse to try out the cruise control though, something I still haven’t really felt the need for on bikes. I’m piss poor at balancing a bike hands free, but having the throttle stay on makes all the difference and it was quite easy steering it with my legs while fastening my lid. The cruise control controls (<<tricky one there) were a little more confusing than what I recently used on the Triumph Tiger but worked well once I figured it out.

Sadly I didn’t really hit any proper highway with the bike so can’t really comment on it’s touring ability, but being used to no wind protection whatsoever it was a whisper quiet experience behind that screen. I would imagine it will offer a fair bit of protection for the rain as well, especially around the leg area.

Enough faffing about with Road modes it was back to Dynamic as I approached the famous (to us Capies at least) De Waal drive and by now I was hammering every gear home with Shift Assist and back down again as required. The bike feels smaller and more agile the faster you go and nothing like the tank that is the VFR1200. I could happily see myself riding this all day long with a huge smile on my face, hoping for the road to go ever onwards.

Getting back to the dealership I still found it hard to quantify my experience as the numbers still didn’t add up…I should be unhappy and sore from being uncomfortable, yet I was refreshed and ready for more.

I’m not one to give anything 10/10. In fact not having endless moans and complaints even about things I really like is unusual. Yet with the RS I find it hard to find anything that I would consider a deal breaker…absolutely nothing comes to mind apart from nobody giving it to me for free.

Superbly comfortable, great diesel torque engine with loads of flair and soul, brilliant gearbox with the best clutch I’ve ever used and beyond all else a pretty good price too. I guess if I need to moan about something it would be the LCD display that wasn’t all that great in sunlight, but after the fact I’ve heard there are a few different display options that might sort that out as well.

Ultimately, as with all things motorcycling it comes down to price. The R1200RS is R176 000 after the R/$ plummet adjustment which is still a good deal considering we get pretty much fully specced bikes in SA for less than the base models elsewhere. Gear Shift Assist Pro will cost you another R5500 and the Top Box + Panniers will be in the region of R15k. So for less than R200k you have pretty much everything you could ever need and I think that’s a pretty damn good deal.

Don’t piss your money away on keyless go nonsense, rather use it as a “discount” for the Navigation which will be infinitely more useful. Sorry I don’t know how much that costs, but regardless it still makes more sense than not having a key…but still having a key which you need to carry on your person and will inevitably lose.

In conclusion, if this is the type of bike you are looking for, or even if it isn’t, you need to do yourself a favour and go test ride one. For me personally it’s pretty much perfect.

2015 BMW S1000XR

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Although I was apprehensive about the chain drive and not being the biggest fan of inline-fours I expected those to become a distant memory as like most people I don’t mind a megaton of power on my bikes and on paper it seemed to tick all the comfort boxes.

It’s also not very pretty in a conventional sense, but does have a sort of weird Transformers like appeal to it. If anything, it’s at least different.

Having also read and watched every review I could find on the bike beforehand, people appear to be blown away by it and generally found to edge out the Multistrada based more on preference than anything else.

So it was a little odd to find that the more and more exposure I had to the bike the less and less I liked it, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.

Jumping on, and I mean that literally, since it’s fricken tall and you can’t really mount it like a horse as you would with the GS, the first thing that I noticed was that the clutch is cable based instead of hydraulic as on the RS.

Now it being cable isn’t a real issue if it worked properly, but it does leave me with a sense of lower quality and questioning WHY? Thing is it doesn’t work properly either, the action is very stiff and maybe it needed some adjustment but after getting to the friction point it would have a centimetre or so to travel still before hitting the stop.

Sure you’ll argue as with the RS what does the clutch really matter if you are have a factory fitted Shift Assist Pro system (same as the optional for the RS) but the thing is inevitably you get stuck in traffic staying in the same gear where you end up feathering the clutch the whole time and that becomes very tedious very quickly if the clutch is fighting you.

The further I went the more and more the clutch was a painful reminder and a pain in my ass. Especially once you start realising that the engine comes out of a superbike and is therefore quite gutless as low revs and makes all it’s power at the top. This is what made the Boxer in the RS so lovely is that super low down torque which is non-existent here.

Anyway out of the dealership I went and needing to stop for traffic again the immediate reminder of the height of this thing is apparent. Truth be told it was actually better than I expected but much like the 800GS I rode recently the super wide footpegs do make for some exciting times until you adjust the way you put your foot down. I say foot because in most cases putting it in first and dropping your left foot is your best bet. Yeah, you could tip toe on both feet but ultimately that’s more unstable in most situations.

Pulling away the comfortable seat is quite apparent and the leg to seat ratio has you sitting almost square legged. As I said before, the seat does have a tendency to hold you very firmly in place which isn’t everyone cup of tea. I suspect it this was done very much on purpose because when you open her up you need every bit of resistance to hold you in your seat when those 160 horses try to buck you off.

Immediately however I noticed that the bike seems quite cramped. Moving onto the balls of my feet I was standing on the heat shield of the exhaust and later trying to “Meerkat” (this is a pretend offroad bike after all) I found it very odd standing up with the various bits getting in the way of your feet. Sitting here now I recall the rear brake lever also irritating me for some reason but I can’t even begin to remember why, right now.

Being irritated by the clutch and by now quite familiar with Shift Assist I used that immediately and I must say it does work much better on the XR. Not to say it doesn’t work well on the RS in isolation, but compared directly there is definitely a smoother shift with the XR across all rev ranges. Oddly the XR doesn’t have an indication on screen of when to shift which seemed a little strange all things considered this being the “superbike” of the two.

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There is an awesome burp from the exhaust when closing throttle at lower speeds and it quickly became quite addictive to do this on purpose, in traffic. In general the engine isn’t really all that great when stuck in the aforementioned. I found myself constantly on the clutch trying to find reasonable power, it’s either too much power or too little torque. Although torque is only marginally less than the RS at 116 Nm it peaks at just over 3000 revs higher at 9,250 rpm and feels like it just about starts there too.

Suspension is the same dynamically electronic system as in the RS but seems to have slightly longer travel I guess for that pseudo-offroad GS feeling they were going after. The problem here is that it seems to be sporty while also being soft at the same time. I found a lot of fork dive when suddenly getting on the brakes which makes for what seems to be a lot more unstable experience over the on rails notion of the RS. Some people will call that exciting, personally I find it a little rude but then again I’m apparently an old man now. The bike almost felt like it had a flat tyre (it didn’t I checked) and I won’t go so far as saying I didn’t trust it, but it just doesn’t feel like the engine is matched very well to the chassis…which it really isn’t otherwise more people would build weird bikes like these.

I can’t say I felt a massive difference between the Road and Dynamic suspension modes here and riding the exact same roads I felt it was harder but wallowing a bit more. Throttle wise they should just rename Dynamic to Satanic because it’s absolutely mental. As I said previously that seat was probably designed to keep you on the bike because when you rev it out you really need to prepare yourself and brace against the monstrous power that gets unleashed. Being a superbike engine the 160hp happens at 11,000 rpm but it’s more the slight shot effect from about 7,000 rpm that catches you off guard. There is just this sudden rush of power out of nowhere almost as if it’s turbo driven and if you aren’t prepared for that you might find yourself on the tar with the bike soldiering on by itself.

Which brings me back to the main reason I just didn’t like the experience. The engine just doesn’t seem to match the style of the chassis and the two seem to be fighting each other. I can only think that the people raving about this bike are used to the relatively low-powered GS (in comparison) and therefore bowled over by the madness. Personally I think it doesn’t make a very good GS and at the same time isn’t a great superbike so I ask myself why not just buy a GS if you wanted that or an S1000RR if you want a superbike.

Back to comfort I simply couldn’t acclimatize to the high bars. Yes I’m not used to those and I had a similar experience on the Triumph Tiger, where my arms go numb and the usual lower back paid simply moves up to mid/high back pain and climbs right into my shoulder blades. Maybe in time that would change, but I very much doubt it. Either I’m too short in the upper body and therefore incompatible, or the bike itself just isn’t quite right. Also, this overly upright position is exactly why the crazy horsepower just doesn’t work as you always end up clenching yourself to the bike instead of relaxing which may be exactly why I find my upper back not complying.

The buzz is real! I thought people were maybe just being sensitive in reviews but I can now fully agree that the buzzing through the bars is just insane and very very irritating even just riding through urban areas. I can only imagine it will be a hell of a lot worse on the open read and would be a serious deal breaker. Further to this the vibration from the chain drive was so crazy coming up through the seat that at certain revs I felt like I might pee myself. Maybe it all comes back to the engine being in the wrong frame and just not coping wel with lower speeds?

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Much like a Honda Civic Type-R this bike feels like it just wants to be at 100% all the time and when it’s not, well it sucks pretty badly.

On a more positive note I liked the clocks and LCD display on this much more so than the RS. There is just less going on and so it’s much easier to read and find your way towards information. Between the two the tacho is swopped for the speedo, so on the XR you have a large rev counter with a digital speed readout which is my preference.

The windscreen does the job I guess. I’m not really an authority on these things but it did seem somewhat “flappy” compared to the RS. Overall actually the quality just doesn’t seem quite there with the XR. I can’t put my finger on it exactly but it just doesn’t feel as solid which when considering the price of R 218 000 doesn’t really make it seem like a very good deal.

It seems to be priced exactly in the same ballpark as the Multistrada locally but even though I haven’t ridden that yet I’m not quire sure it can compete. Yes on paper the Multistrada is lacking a quickshifter but also comes with Keyless ride, which granted nobody needs) and has a trick up it’s sleeve with cornering lights. The Multistrada also has some optional nice to haves like the tank bag with USB integration for you iPhone which also talks to the bike through an app. On paper the Multistrada has DVT and is already a Twin which should sort out the low end grunt problem I had with the XR.

Overall then I have to say that I didn’t like it very much and it went from my most likely to purchase assumption to “do not want” very quickly. Just shows you not to judge a book by it’s cover but at the same time I’ve also learnt that a quick test ride doesn’t always tell you the whole story.

I’ll come back to this one after riding the Multistrada somewhere in April, but the XR certainly isn’t the bike for me and I’m not convinced it’s the best choice in this class if you absolutely have to have this kind of thing.

2015 BMW RnineT

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The first thing you realise about the RnineT is just how small it is compared to the other two. It’s not that the chassis itself is smaller but there is just less protruding everywhere and the ass has pretty much been chopped off. Well not chopped off…it was never there to begin with. The rear end of the bike is pretty much a seat floating on an almost invisible metal strut.

So much like my Buell, it’s a BMX with a massive engine then…and that makes it awesome.

By and large it’s the “old” aircooled version of the same Boxer engine fitted to the RS and GS and many other S’s this time in a 1170cc configuration pushing out 110 hp at a low 7,500 rpm.

Who cares about horses though? It’s a 119 Nm at 6,000 rpm that makes it truly spectacular. I thought the RS had an interesting torque twist when you started it, but this one takes the cake. First it tries to throw itself off the stand when it fires up, but I swear when you pull away from a standing stop while turning it even pulls slightly to the side. That’s by no means a complaint, I love it for that.

It makes a gorgeous noise and out of the three it is the one that I didn’t feel needed any help to sound better. Then I did some reading and found out the stock pipes are actually unbranded Akrapovic’s which explains all that. Why can’t they just do that with all bikes? Or better yet just sell them with no pipes from the factory and let you choose one on order, since the stock ones are really just a waste of money and metal in most cases.

Unlike just about every other BMW or modern bike for that matter there are no electronics here. Short of basic ABS, gone are the traction control, ride modes and electronic suspension gizmos. There’s no shift assistance either but you do get a rather large gear indicator on the screen in front of you.

It’s just you and the RnineT…for better or worse.

Which means out of the three bikes here this was the most fun to ride because there is that little bit of safety net (or lack there of) fear that leaves everything in your hands and demands that you pay attention. Not that I ever felt unsafe, but you know you get used to these things and take them for granted.

It’s hard to compare this with anything as there aren’t many like it. If anything I decided to ride this bike because I spent a lot of time on a similar, yet nothing alike, Triumph Thruxton recently which opened my mind to this kind of thing.

I like the RnineT more than the Thruxton for the reason that it’s a modern bike with retro styling, whereas the Thruxton is pretty much an old bike in the modern world with some technological compromises.

The R9 has modern upside-down forks, a shaft drive and proper fuel injection with presumably ride-by-wire throttle as well. It’s modern and fresh for all things but it’s styling and even that isn’t really old or classic just a throwback to a different era. It has proper brakes too with dual discs in front…where the Triumph can’t do math.

As spartan as the clocks and controls might be there is really everything you might need, with large tachometer and speedometer around a subtle digital display that has luxuries like a fuel gauge, gear indicator and the usual trip and odometer readings. Warning lights are sort of hidden away above the display but clearly visible when lit up…unlike the Thruxton where they are near invisible all of the time.

More than anything though it’s modern for having simple every day should be on every bike things like a normal ignition with built-in steering lock and a normal petrol cap that uses a key to protect your petrol, both of which are lacking on the Thruxton for being retro (and foolish).

Controls are equally bare bones for the lack of electronics since you don’t need all those buttons to control something that isn’t there.

Pulling away from the shop I noted the clutch is quite heavy but being hydraulic it’s nowhere as bad as the XR’s unit and really is only heavy by virtue of the RS’s being feather light. Obviously now I needed to do all the shifting myself and so I noticed that the gearbox does take a bit of effort through the gears but is precise and sure footed. I don’t want to say clunky, but it can be a bit noisy.

For the lack of shift assist I tried a few clutchless efforts, but I must say it takes very precise timing otherwise that twisting torque does throw you off course a little bit and I think for this type of bike it’s hardly necessary.

Sitting in the shop I felt the bike might be a bit uncomfortable as the reach to the bars is quite forward but once you get going none of this was an issue. If anything this being the third bike in a row I expected to be hurting by now but all three BMW’s treated me well and this being the most uncomfortable of the three I was still riding quite happily and without strain.

Burning it through corners it was the most fun I had all day. The bike was pretty much built for short jaunts like these around the coast. There is no wind protection at all, but that adds to the visceral nature of this bike and makes it feel faster than you are really going. Sure I wouldn’t want to take it on any long distance trips but if this was all you had in the garage then it would do that quite happily as well I’m sure.

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Suspension is sporty but comfortable. I hit a few pot holes and bumps in the road and they made themselves known but at the same time you can hit a speed bump at speed and hardly take notice any notice of it, something that my Street Triple fails at miserably. If you want to learn how to get your knee down this will probably be one of the best bikes for that as you sit almost cruiser low but without the usual cruiser compromise in handling. Riding with jeans only I almost wished I had put my full leathers on for the day so I could give it a try.

At the same time it’s not a bike that I feel you need to get off of to go around corners. You can just drop your shoulder under spirited riding and you are good as gold…or just sit right in your seat and counter steer it. It’s a very easy bike to ride at pace and have major fun on, I was smiling all the way even with the wind coming up.

BMW are embracing the Harley Davidson lifestyle approach to bikes with this one by offering a multitude of customization options. Essentially they want every bike to look different and have it’s own personality. For that reason you are paying a premium for styling on this one as the sum of it’s parts don’t quite add up.

I know it’s somewhat unfair to compare the RnineT to the Thruxton which is a much cheaper bike, but it’s my only point of reference. I think the Ducati Xdiavel which I should ride soon enough will be the closest rival in specification, but at the same time it will also be much more expensive.

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So at R162, 990 the RnineT is in it’s own price class compared to other manufacturers and it doesn’t seem like very good value for money compared to the RS at R175,750 from the same stable which comes with a whole lot more bells and many more whistles. Yet at the same time it’s going to be a very particular customer who wants this kind of thing and I think the money will be somewhat irrelevant to them because the heart wants what the heart wants.

For me personally it doesn’t work as a primary bike, as it doesn’t tick all my day to day boxes, but I would LOVE to have one as a second or third bike in a few years. Probably off the second hand market when the price makes a bit more sense to my pocket for a lesser used vehicle.

The BMW Donford Cape Town Experience

I can only liken it to my Harley Davidson experiences from back in the day when I owned a Buell and even though I was treated like a Black Sheep amongst those folk I never felt like a number.

The last few years my dealership experience from all the different brands have been somewhat lacking. Either you walk in and have to beg for service, or you send an email and never get a response.

Then when you actually want to ride the bikes they either aren’t available or you need to wait for them and it’s like they are doing you a favour. Some of them don’t even bother to come talk to you even if you help yourself and sit on the bikes in store and it’s not like they didn’t notice you…they looked you in the eye when buzzing you in the door. I’ll never own a certain orange bike from pseudo-Germany for this reason.

Harry Clifton from Donford Cape Town responded to my email in exactly 56 minutes from sending it and included an extremely positive response. I rocked up and it took a few minutes to get the first bike ready and the others were all there waiting for me as I got back from each ride.

The dealership itself is large and every single person who works there is pleasant to chat to and not once was I ignored. At the same time they also weren’t overbearing trying to sell me something which is usually the dark side of customer service. It’s very obvious to me that the staff have received proper training.

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Although the coffee shop inside the dealership is a little too hipster lifestyle for me I’m getting older and starting to embrace this kind of thing. I sat down and had a quick lunch after the XR ride and it was a lovely experience being surrounded by bikes and motorcycling culture. Oddly I’m sure a number of people in the coffee shop have never ridden bikes in their lives…so maybe BMW is on to something there.

If I would change anything about the test rides it would have maybe been to have a bit of education around the controls of the two more complex bikes. I guess most of their customers aren’t new to BMW’s so this isn’t really a usual concern.

Both the staff in store and my friends have also stated that courtesy bikes when coming for a service should never be a problem. Something I haven’t experienced in a long time and would be a welcome “feature”. BMW owners seem to generally be the types who ride every single day and they understand this other than other dealers that think you can do without your bike for extended periods.

So what happened to the GS? Well by the end of the day I was running a bit short on time as well as energy. I had a look at the various GS’s on the floor and took a seat here and there and realised that I wouldn’t buy the Trophy because it doesn’t have Batmobile features and quite frankly I’ve never liked the look of the GS so I know I won’t actually ever buy one unless I get offroad mad.

To appease the GS-fanboys I will however go ride a GS should I decide to take the plunge on an RS later in the year. I’ll actually go ride the RS again too just to be absolutely damn sure.

It’s the little details that make all the difference, such as finding the side-stand on all three bikes I rode with the first try. The multitude of seating options or just being height adjustable and configurable. Customer service that has so far been truly spectacular and above all else people taking you seriously and treating you like a genuine buyer.

BMW as a whole have me convinced. I’m ready to join the cult and become a skinhead.